Looking Back..

I have been doing a little "mom reflection" today, and my new addiction, blogging, seems to be the best way to reflect! I am so amazed at how fast time flies and how little is remembered. I am the kind of person with a photographic memory. I remember everything.. conversations that took place years ago, silly little details and events.. but for the life of me, I can't remember how it used to be when Abby was just born. I have tried to remember the quiet and peaceful first week, when all she did was eat, poop and sleep. Tried to remember the next few weeks, when I would fall apart crying after she would finally sleep, wondering how I would make it through the day and why, in the great scheme of things, was this path chosen for me at the time. I definitely was not planning to become a mother yet and was really happy with the path I was already on. I DO remember the struggle through pregnancy and the decisions that I was faced with. I remember every second of that.. but everything after she was born seems like a fast-paced blur. Maybe because it is so repetitious? I don't mind forgetting the struggles, but I forget the good times too and I don't want to. I guess that is something I will have to cope with and hope that one day it will change. Until that happens, I will have to deal with it and focus on the present.. which happens to be pretty great! Sometimes shes fussy, but a lot of the times she's happy. And I love her more every day that passes. I remember seeing movies of babies being born and wondering when she was born, why I didn't feel this immediate great and passionate love for her.. and I felt horrible. But now I miss her when she sleeps, and can't wait to wake up in the morning and spend time with her. I think the struggles that I had, and will have, are a big part of what makes our bond so strong. Now there is no question in my mind that this change in path, as difficult as it can be, was the right path to take.

On a side note, we are just getting ready to go for our walk.. and it is a bit chilly out, so she is nice and bundled.. and of course I thought she looked cute and snapped a picture to share..

Definitely the right path..